Forensic Cannibalism

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Terms & Conditions

By accessing Forensic Cannibalism ("the Site," "we," or "us"), you agree to the following Terms & Conditions ("Terms"). If you do not agree, you must not use the Site. As of 2025/12/05, the Terms hold info about features that have not yet been added to the Site. You recognize that any features in the Terms that are marked with an asterisk ("*") are not currently available on the Site. The Site's primary features will be explained in the Feature Dictionary section. External websites included on the Site's homepage do not follow the same Terms & Conditions; use them with caution.

Eligibility

You must be at least 13 years old (or the legal minimum age in your jurisdiction) to use the Site. If you are under 18, you confirm that you have permission from a parent or legal guardian. If you are a felon in the state of Arizona, enjoy listening to the band known as The Beatles, or your name is Dean Zellers, you must not use the site regardless of any prior eligibility.

Any users discovered to be under 13, a fan of The Beatles, a felon in the state of Arizona, or named Dean Zellers will be banned from all future participation in the site and consequently have all of their uploaded content replaced with references to Kazakhstan. Any attempt to dodge the aformentioned effects will result in the Site owner temporarily removing any and all references to Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, due to our firm belief that (as quoted) "only kids read that stupid shit."

Eligibility may also be revoked at any time if the Site owner suspects you have violated any of the Terms. The duration for which you will have your eligibility revoked is determined on a case by case basis based on the severity of your offense. This can range anywhere from a few minutes to a permanent loss of eligibility.

Feature Dictionary

The following list includes primary features of the site and their summaries (list is subject to change. up to date as of 2025/12/04):

  • Library* - A virtual library with archives of videos, audios, texts, photos, and software. Media related to The Beatles is not allowed in the library. Though users can't directly add media to the library, any user caught suggesting an addition that breaks this rule will be punished accordingly.
  • Radio* - A page that looks and functions similar to a real radio. Songs are chosen at random from a list and played live. The page is intentionally styled to look like a physical radio.
  • My Software - Downloads for software and web-based tools created by the Site owner.
  • Rants - A frequently growing collection of half-serious comedic rants from the Site owner.
  • Retard Wiki - MediaWiki-based wiki with no intent to archive real info. Users are heavily encouraged to create satirical, nonsensical, and untrue articles.
  • Retard Christmas Tree - A virtual Christmas tree where users can upload images to use as ornaments. Once an image is uploaded, it will appear as a round ornament that can be moved around on the tree.
  • Dumbass Cloud Storage* - 256 megabytes of shared cloud storage between all users. Anyone can upload, edit, and delete as much as they want as long as they aren't uploading any Beatles related media.
  • Guestbook* - A shared text document where users can write down who they are and when they visited.
  • KBPage* - A customizable webpage given to all users that must remain under 1 kilobyte in size.
  • Chatrooms* - Simple yet insecure chatrooms where you can take any username you want, then join a room and start chatting. No sign-ups required.
  • Minecraft Server* - A multiplayer server for Minecraft Java Edition.
  • 4Type* - A simpler short-form media platform. Users can post videos, images, audio, and text as long as it fits the restriction of being under 1 megabyte in size.
  • DNS Redirect* - Subdomains that redirect to other pages. Access is given to highly trusted users or friends of the Site owner.
  • OldNetViewer* - A page accessible from older browsers that attempts to convert and relay HTTPS pages to the present HTTP page.
  • Superior Clock - A clock that measures time in percentage of the day complete.
  • Time Adder - A calculator for adding mutliple time lengths together. Can prove useful in situations such as figuring out how long an album or playlist is.
  • North America GPS Map* - A less detailed GPS map of North America. Kept for the fact that it’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
  • SSYS-Mail* - An email system that is truly private. All data is encrypted and the decryption key is saved to the user's files. Without the key, not even the Site owner can view your data.
  • Notevault* - A single large notepad that uses the same system as SSYS-Mail. All data is encrypted, and cannot be viewed without the decryption key that the user must download.
  • ImgReceptacle* - Long-term hosting for images under 3 megabytes in size.
  • 3TLI* - A file compressor that will attempt to shrink your file size to 3 megabytes or less through any means necessary.
  • Aquatic Substition Society* - A fake nonprofit organization that claims its goal is to de-pollute waters by relocating the water.
  • Rock's American Preservation Elective* - An unserious organization dedicated to preserving real Rock N' Roll from the (quoted) "computer bullshit kids these days make."
  • Thug Registry* - An unserious organization that issues access to "thug cards", which is a card with no value or purpose other than to humorously state that the holder is a thug.
  • Changelogs - Lists of previous updates and the changes that came with them.
  • Compatibility Mode - A version of the site that forgoes all unnecessary JavaScript and CSS to achieve the goal of running on almost every web browser in existence.

    • General Usage of the Site

    You agree with the following statements:

  • You will use the Site in compliance with these Terms and applicable laws.
  • You will not use the Site to distribute malware, exploit security vulerabilities, or engage in harmful and/or illegal activites.
  • You will not attempt to distribute any media related to or included in the Site to anyone listed in Rock's American Preservation Elective's Public Watchlist for Haters of and Conspirators Against the Rock N' Roll Genre.
  • You will not attempt to overload, crash, or interfere with the operations of the Site.
  • You will not use the site to glorify Ayn Rand in any way.

    • You understand that many of the features of the Site are experimental, satirical, and intentionally insecure. Use them at your own risk.

    Content You Upload

    Some features included in the Site allow users to upload, submit, and create content ("User Content"). By submitting User Content, you agree with the following statements:

  • You own or have permission to upload the content.
  • The content does not slander Charlie Kirk or any similar marxist figures.
  • You grant the Site owner a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free license to host, display, store, and (where the feature requires) modify, archive, or distribute the content.
  • You will not upload content that is illegal, abusive, harassing, hateful, threatening, sexually explicit, or authored by Ayn Rand.

    • Since the Site includes experimental, satirical, and intentionally insecure features (e.g., Retard Wiki, Retard Christmas Tree, Dumbass Cloud Storage*, 4Type*, ImgReceptacle*), you also accept the following statements to be true:

  • Your User Content may be publicly visible.
  • Your User Content may be deleted by other users.
  • Your User Content may be altered, vandalized, overwritten, and/or lost permanently.
  • Your User Content may be used to further the development of Roko's basilisk.
  • We reserve the right to delete your User Content at any moment for any reason.

    • Content Hosted By The Site & Accepted Risks

    The Site contains:

  • User-generated content.
  • Satire, parody, and intentionally unserious material.
  • Technical experiments.
  • Personal rants.
  • Vast media archives.
  • In-progress or unstable features.
  • Fictional or humorous entities (e.g., the fictional Aquatic Substition Society*, and the humorous Rock's American Preservation Elective*).

    • We do not guarantee accuracy, reliability, or safety of any content. Use the Site for entertainment and utility at your own discretion. The following features pose some of the highest risk to user safety:

  • Retard Wiki - Anyone may edit anything. Content may be false, offensive, nonsensical, intentionally misleading, or show enormous favor towards Kazakhstan. You accept all such risks.
  • Dumbass Cloud Storage* - All users share the same limited (256MB) storage. Anything you upload may be downloaded, deleted, overwritten, or destroyed at any time by anyone.
  • Guestbook* - Entries are public and not guaranteed to be preserved. It is highly recommended that you do not post personal or sensitive information under any circumstances.
  • KBPage* - User-created pages may contain broken code, bugs, formatting issues, or unexpected content. Do not include malicious scripts or harmful code.
  • Chatrooms* - These chatrooms are simple, not moderated in real time, and not private. Usernames are user-selected, not unique, and completely unverified.
  • Minecraft Server* - By connecting to the Minecraft Server, you acknowledge that your use of Minecraft is additionally governed by Mojang's Terms, Policies, and End User License Agreement. You also understand that you may encounter innapropriate, offensive, or disturbing material in-game.
  • DNS Redirect* - You understand that subdomains issued through this system merely redirect to network addresses provided by third parties. You are responsible for how you use such redirects, and Forensic Cannibalism is not responsible for any content featured on the redirects.
  • OldNetViewer* - You understand and accept the reduction in security and potential data exposure associated with the process of converting content from an HTTPS site into HTTP.
  • SSYS-Mail* and NoteVault* - These features use user-held encryption keys. If you lose your key, your data is completely unrecoverable. The Site owner cannot access your data in any readable form.
  • ImgReceptacle* & 3TLI* - Uploaded images or files may be permanently stored or aggressively compressed in ways that damage or alter the content. Uploads must not violate laws or copyright, as previously stated in the Content You Upload section.

    • Privacy & Liability

    The only data collected by the Site that you don't directly submit is your ip-address. Never submit any info that you wouldn't want a hacker to have. The Site uses HTTP rather than HTTPS in order to work with older browsers. This comes with security risks for any data submitted by you. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the Site owner is not liable for:

  • Data loss
  • Deleted or overwritten content
  • Damaged files
  • Pubic lice
  • Incorrect information
  • Security issues (primarily due to the lack of HTTPS)
  • User interactions
  • Sudden erections
  • Downtime or feature removal
  • Any damages arising from using the Site or its services

    • Forensic Cannibalism | | Page Last Edited On: 2025/12/5
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